How To Grow A Beard - The Legends Way
So, you’ve decided it’s time to grow a beard, and increase the balance on your man card to a staggeringly high level. Hey, we can’t blame you…can’t blame you at all!
It might be that you want those automatic “drink upgrades” at the bar (because ultra cool dudes at a bar increases bar revenue 100 fold-imo), or maybe it’s because you want to make it impossible for women to take their eyes off of you, and shaved men to look upon you with a covetousness so thick you could cut it with a knife. No matter the reason my brothers, let’s face it, LEGENDARY BEARDS ARE MONEY! So Grow It!
Now before you start thinking you’ll have this power anytime soon, let’s examine the absolutely critical foundational elements that you must first have in place.
- The proper mindset (growing a Legendary Beard isn’t for the weak minded)!
- The most effective beard growth & beard maintenance products money can buy!
- A commitment to provide Legacy knowledge & beard care instruction from iconic beard soothsayers!
So if you’re ready to get started, then let’s roll. Move on down the page.
If you can’t, or rather, aren’t ready to make the commitment to grow a beard the right way….then step away for awhile and try to get your head straight first. Please come back when you hear that Legendary Beard Call again!
#1 - The Bearded Mindset
Setting off on a path to grow a Legendary Beard, will be strewn with landmines everywhere…just so you know. First comes the part where the job/occupation you have, will not allow for something as righteous as a beard. Our brethren in the Law Enforcement field know this better than anyone, followed by corporate execs and government workers beholden to higher powers, a myriad of other occupations that disallow facial hair beyond a certain length (typically 1/2 inch and beyond), and finally the armed services (with the exception being, SEALS, Green Berets, Rangers, Spec-Ops, etc…where they are able to ruffle the feathers of command for good reason…they’re total badasses!).
So for the sake of the argument, let’s say you’ve been given the green light to grow a beard. Whether that be through employer blessing, corporate approval, or just a downright, “I’m growing a damn beard no matter what anyone says…even if I have to retire or get fired” type of commitment. Now what? Well, let’s look into the future…and imagine how awesome life will be once we have a Legendary Beard. Shall we?
~The Bearded Soothsayer will now visit you in dreams
“Well, the first few weeks to a month can be an itchy nightmare for those who’ve moved to this level…but it can be overcome with proper beard oil usage. That’s right! Using beard oil before you grow a beard is a spectacularly intelligent endeavor, because it will provide a path of least resistance in the months to come, just wait.
Next hurdle you’ll have to deal with is your loved ones, friends, coworkers and their disapproval/concerns about having someone so amazingly bearded in their midst…and how that whole thing plays out within the accepted social propaganda norms of the day. But by this point, you’ll find yourself becoming committed to growing a beard…and backing out now will make you feel like a half inch of a man. Reaching for the clippers now is just simply out of the question, right? So let’s keep this sucker moving…we’re starting to pick up some manly momentum!
Now listen up, for the first four to six weeks of beard growing, don’t even think about trimming or clipping it to even things out…we’ll get to that later. This is what we’ll call the, “on-ramping for life with a beard” phase, in which we’ll drop right in behind other newbies choking up the slow traffic lane, and take our rightful position in line. You’ll be tempted to merge into the FAST LANE where your bearded elders are enjoying a kick-ass life on cruise control, but unless you want to become the real-life target of a Spy-Hunter pit maneuver…don’t even think about it! Just stay put for now.
IMPORTANT WISDOM NOTE: At 4-6 weeks, you DON’T HAVE A BEARD…you have facial hair. So don’t get too cocky quite yet, you’re still a work in progress my brother! We’ll get you there….
Okay, in 3…2…1…the dream is now over! How do you feel? Think you have what it takes to grow a Legendary Beard, knowing it will be many months or even years before you’re allowed into the FAST LANE?
Before you answer, remember one very important thing here brothers: growing a beard to Epic & Legendary Proportions WILL NOT BE EASY, BUT TOTALLY WORTH IT. It’s a complete life altering experience honestly. You’ll be treated different. You’ll either be loved more, feared more, respected more, or a combination of all the above…and this power can be hard to get used to for many dudes. Get used to it!“
Let’s move on >>>>
#2 - Using The Most Effective Products From Day 1
When it comes to building our formulations, we approach the biology, chemistry, and human condition with the utmost of caution. And we aren’t trying to get you to buy something from us, that’s not why we exist. Rather, we are chemists, developers, mathematicians, and logical thinkers who happen to grow beards, and it’s our passion to design products on a whole new level.
With that being said, I say the following with a great sense conviction: “The Legends Beard & Pipe development commitment, and our radically conservative approach to designing results-based formulas backed by science, puts us at a DISTINCT DISADVANTAGE in the beard oil marketplace. But we’re okay with that!”
That’s right, a DISTINCT DISADVANTAGE. We simply won’t lie to you, or compromise your health or safety to sell you something, like so many brands on eBay, Amazon, and the web are willing to do. We really know what we’re doing, and peacefully and confidently rest in that knowledge.
So as an example, it may surprise many to know, that when it comes to growing a beard…ONLY ONE SINGLE ESSENTIAL OIL has ever been scientifically proven to grow hair! That’s right, just one essential oil. In fact, it’s been proven to grow new hair and strengthen existing hair 10x better than FDA Approved Minoxidil/Propecia/Rogaine…but you’d never know this by looking at a dishonest market full of beard oil companies and their superfluous concoctions claiming otherwise. There’s also NO KNOWN BEARD GROWTH PILL
that has ever existed, just voodoo based claims that have tricked many a buyer into making an emotional purchase online. EBay, Amazon, and the web are full of these products and their junk science. In fact, our company regularly sees online “private labeling” beard oil operations trying to profit from our proven Legends shrapnel, and since the market is still new….customers are easily deceived by the latest “snake-oil” claim. But you’re different! You’re here to learn the truth about how to grow a beard!
With that, our Alchemists ONLY USE proven, scientific ingredients that have been thoroughly tested in lab trials and official University studies. We lab develop, synthesize, then trial every formulation before it’s released to the public. This tight methodology insures that our products are exactly what we claim they are, and that we are not in the business of voodoo science like other brands. Of course it doesn’t hurt that our customers en masse, validate our claims via testimonials, reviews, and very personal emails and letters that we’ll soon publish.
Take for example our POSEIDON™ Beard Growth Formula, which made its debut in early 2016. This formula now has a worldwide cult-like following, not because it has a killer foil label & packaging, smells insanely refreshing, or is just plain awesome….but by the simple fact that it works! And I mean it really, really works! Again, sound and proven science at work. POSEIDON™ Usage Guide >>
For those looking to achieve that elusive pheromone-esque “sex appeal” aroma, our CARIBBEAN VOYAGE™ Ultra Premium BAY RUM formula, has been receiving accolades as one of the Most Addictive Beard Oil Formulas EVER RELEASED! Which makes sense, given that it has three (3) of the Most Potent & Expensive Aphrodisiacs on planet earth, synthesized into a perfected blend that drives women absolutely crazy. Think we’re fooling? Just try it…and see for yourself. It has a 30 day Money Back Guarantee. CARIBBEAN VOYAGE™ Usage Guide >>
Finally, there’s our SERIOUS BLACK™ formula, that’s specifically designed to grow, darken & enrich beards to ridiculous levels. Containing some of the most exotic nutrients on the planet, SERIOUS BLACK™ achieves near “dye-like” performance, while remaining completely benign and side-effect free! SERIOUS BLACK™ Usage Guide >>
#3 - Legacy Knowledge & Beard Growth Science!
As the Legends Beard & Pipe™ formulation research expands, we’ll be continuously developing, testing, and then synthesizing incredible new blends for our customers to use. As we go through this process, we want you to be along for the ride…and bear witness to the elaborate steps we take to develop the highest quality products on the planet. Riding along with us means you’ll be able to secure these new formulas before they reach the general market…and in some cases…formulas that NEVER WILL BE RELEASED TO THE PUBLIC!…ONLY YOU!
Of course as this research expands, new application and usage strategies will also come to light, and we want you there for that as well. So when others are buying inferior products from all over the web and using them willy-nilly, you’ll be privy to the elaborate knowledge and exotic chemistry discovered in The Legends Lab. Exclusively!
Sound like a plan?
Craig Workman – Co-Founder & Head Chemist
LEGENDS BEARD & PIPE™